PENRITH, NSW — June 9, 2025
In a shock move set to rattle the rugby league world and the artisanal metalworking community alike, Panthers halfback Nathan Cleary is reportedly eyeing a post-NRL career as a full-time blacksmith.
Multiple sources close to the premiership-winning playmaker say Cleary has become “increasingly obsessed” with hammers, anvils, and slow-motion Instagram videos of glowing metal over the offseason. Insiders claim he’s already forged three letter openers, a modest horseshoe, and what he describes as a “sword to use in Origin if the refs keep blind-eyeing Queensland’s offside.”
“I just find peace in the forge,” Cleary told The Westie Whisperer, wearing a leather apron and sporting a singlet that read Steel Before Feel. “Footy is great, but it doesn’t offer the same satisfaction as turning a chunk of molten iron into a rustic bottle opener.”
His manager, now operating under the name “The Merchant of Molten”, says interest in Cleary’s craftsmanship is already sky-high, with several hipster pubs in Newtown lining up to buy hand-forged cutlery sets made from recycled goalposts and shattered premiership dreams.
The Panthers have tried to play down the reports, insisting Cleary’s passion for smithing is just a hobby, not a career pivot. Coach Ivan Cleary, who is also Nathan’s father and now allegedly head of “Quality Control” in the forge, says, “As long as he doesn’t hammer the wrong hamstring, we support it.”
However, rival clubs are watching nervously. An anonymous Storm insider remarked, “If he starts smithing his own boots out of Damascus steel, we’re all in trouble.”
The NRL has yet to respond to the development, but legal experts are already drafting an official position on whether The Forge counts as a high-performance facility under the salary cap.
Meanwhile, Cleary’s blacksmith Instagram account, @TheClinkOfCleary, has amassed over 400,000 followers, with his most recent reel captioned:
“In the arena, I break tackles. In the forge, I break limits.”
Related:
- Latrell Mitchell spotted enrolling in pottery class, says he wants to “shape something other than narratives”
- Phil Gould insists all players should learn trades in case rugby league dies from too much bunker usage
- James Tedesco opens cafe, only sells energy drinks and regret
Whether he lifts the trophy or a tongs-and-hammer combo next, one thing is clear: Nathan Cleary is still forging his legacy.
Disclaimer: This is satire. Nathan Cleary is a high-performing, focused professional — and while he isn’t looking to become a blacksmith, let’s be honest… he is so good he could do anything.
